I used to take an hour or more to fall asleep after I went to bed.
Even on pleasant days when I had been in a positive mood, I would find myself stewing on old wounds and ways I felt wronged. I would have imaginary conversations where I’d tell the perpetrator what I thought of him. I would replay events and mentally write a checklist of everything wrong about the person’s actions or the situation.
Even when I’d try to pull my thoughts away from these negative ruminations, I found them to be too juicy to let go.
I’ve come to understand the ruts a mental habit creates in our mind. I had created a deep mental habit of ruminating before falling asleep. I’ve also come to understand that rumination has been linked to depression and even Alzheimer’s disease.
To make things worse, this hypnagogic state, before we drift off to sleep, is a bridge between our conscious and subconscious mind. It’s when the subconscious mind is most vulnerable to soaking up thoughts and changing them into beliefs; creating an underlying template for emotional reactions.
When we use this time before we fall asleep to ruminate on negative situations, we support our confirmation and negativity biases.
We ensure that we continue to confirm our negative beliefs in what we see around us. We expect it, we perceive it, and then we confirm it for ourselves. Yep, this always happens to me!
Rumination is an important process to interrupt, but it is especially important to let it go at bedtime. It took me a while to create new habits of mind as I fell asleep. To be honest, I still catch myself playing out scenes that I thought I had put behind me, from time to time. When I find myself ruminating as I'm trying to fall asleep, here are some ways to interrupt that thinking:
Give yourself a mental high-five for noticing! Don’t pile on the negativity by scolding yourself.
Sing a song that makes you feel good.
Recite a mantra or prayer.
Repeat a positive affirmation.
Replay a pleasant memory. Bonus points for vividly imagining the sights, sounds, smells, and flavors associated with the memory.
Imagine you’re sending positive energy to the person/organization/situation you’ve been ruminating on. Say to yourself “I send you light, love, and let it go.”
Replay a scene from an uplifting book or movie you enjoy.
Reframe the memory. You do this by creating a fun and uplifting way the memory could have gone. Have fun with it. Be creative. Change the scene into one where you’re laughing and feeling good.
Since I started catching myself when I dip into rumination mode, I have noticed my overall mood has improved tremendously. I used to be prone to bouts of depression where I would have to work hard to maintain good self-care to avoid sinking deeper. Now, I rarely feel bad for no reason and even when I do have a legitimate reason to feel bad, I handle it with less catastrophizing and (hopefully) a lot more grace.
I hope this gives you an idea of ways to improve your night time thoughts. Even if you’re not a chronic ruminator like I used to be, you can still use positive affirmations to reinforce a constructive view of yourself and your life.
Bonus: Reframing a memory
Click below to listen to a guided reframing practice. While it won’t change the memory of what actually happened, it will change the emotional charge. Think about how you get scared while watching a horror movie, cry while watching a heartbreaking scene, or get angry thinking about something that happened many years ago. Consciously you know none of that is happening, however, your body and emotions react as if it’s real, right now. Reframing a memory uses this same concept. When you imagine the memory playing out in a fun way, your body and subconscious mind take it literally. Give it a try and see what you think.
Try It for Yourself
Click below to listen to a guided reframing practice. While it won’t change the memory of what actually happened, it will change the emotional charge. Think about how you get scared while watching a horror movie, cry while watching a heartbreaking scene, or get angry thinking about something that happened many years ago. Consciously you know none of that is happening, however, your body and emotions react as if it’s real, right now. Reframing a memory uses this same concept. When you imagine the memory playing out in a fun way, your body and subconscious mind take it literally. Give it a try and see what you think.
Share your experience
If you try any of these suggestions, let me know about it on Facebook. Which one did you try? What did you notice about the practice? How has it impacted you?